文章 · 2016

若像tih眠夢

Ná-chhiūⁿ tih bîn-bāng

楊允言 · Iûⁿ Ún-giân

Kài-sêng sī 2009 nî chiaⁿ-ge̍h ê khoán, hit-chūn goá iáu tī Tāi-hàn ki-su̍t ha̍k-īⁿ kà-chu, ū chi̍t-ji̍t hā-khò, khiâ Khóng-bêng-chhia keng-kè Chhit-chhiⁿ-thâm beh tńg-khì chhù-lāi, ē-po͘-sî-á Chhit-chhiⁿ-thâm koan-kong-kheh chiâⁿ choē, hit kang keng-kè hiâ ê sî, hiông-hiông thiaⁿ-tio̍h ū-lâng tih kiò goá, goá oa̍t-thâu, Sūi-bêng hiaⁿ ùi iû-lám-chhia-toé cháu --chhut-lâi. Hit-chūn i tè thoân chhut-lâi chhit-thô, iû-lám-chhia tng beh khí-kiâⁿ, khoàⁿ-tio̍h goá chin hoaⁿ-hí, chhiáⁿ ùn-chiàng sió thêng--chi̍t-ē, lo̍h-lâi kah goá sio-chioh-mn̄g. Toà tī Tiong-iong-soaⁿ-me̍h lēng-goā chi̍t pêng ê i, bô-tiuⁿ-bô-tî tī chiâ sio-chú, ná-chhiūⁿ sī tih bîn-bāng.

蓋成是2009年正月ê款,彼陣我猶tī大漢技術學院教書,有一日下課,騎孔明車經過七星潭beh轉去厝內,下晡時仔七星潭觀光客誠濟,彼工經過遐ê時,雄雄聽著有人tih叫我,我越頭,瑞銘兄ùi遊覽車底走--出來。彼陣伊綴團出來𨑨迌,遊覽車當beh起行,看著我真歡喜,請ùn-chiàng小停一下,落來佮我相借問。蹛tī中央山脈另外一爿ê伊,無張無持tī遮相拄,若像是tih眠夢。

Siūⁿ-boē-kàu ba̍k-chi̍t-ē-nih, kah Sūi-bêng hiaⁿ í-keng se̍k-sāi 20 tang --ah ......

想袂到目一下𥍉,佮瑞銘兄已經熟似20冬ah ......

1996 nî iah tī Tâi-pak ê sî, in-ūi hia̍p-chō͘ "Seng-oa̍h tiong ê bí-kám -- Liāu Sūi-bêng chok-phín-chi̍p" ê pian-chip kang-khè, chai-iáⁿ i tú-á the̍h-tio̍h phok-sū, chin hoaⁿ-hí koh ke chi̍t ê pêng-iú lâi choè Tâi-gú-bûn kang-khè, mā chai-iáⁿ ū cha-bó͘ gín-á tùi i ū hó-kám.

1996年猶tī台北ê時,因為協助《生活中ê美感-廖瑞銘作品集》ê編輯工課,知影伊拄仔提著博士,真歡喜koh加一个朋友來做台語文工課,mā知影有查某囡仔對伊有好感。

Liáu-āu goá thoat-lī Tâi-pak cháu-khì Hoa-liân, saⁿ tang oāⁿ gō͘ ê thâu-lō͘, seng-oa̍h iah-bē an-tēng, chiām-sî khah bô kah Tâi-bûn ê pêng-iú chih-chiap, chóng-sī nā ū toā-pài-pài ê oa̍h-tōng, chi̍t-poàⁿ-pái-á mā ē cháu kè-khì se-pō͘ kah ta̍k-ke choè-tīn.

了後我脫離台北走去花蓮,三冬換五个頭路,生活猶未安定,暫時khah無佮台文ê朋友接接,總是若有大拜拜ê活動,一半擺仔mā會走過去西部佮逐家做陣。

Khó-lêng sī goá ka-kī kò-sèng ê khoat-hām, nā kah chi̍t-koá Tâi-gú-bûn pêng-iú ì-kiàn bô kâng ē khí oan-ke, chóng-sī mā boē kiat oan-siû.

可能是我家己個性ê缺陷,若佮一寡台語文朋友意見無仝會起冤家,總是mā袂結冤仇。

Kah Sūi-bêng hiaⁿ mā pat oan--kè. Keh-tńg-nî, Tiong-san-i pān gián-thó-hoē, hoē-āu chia̍h-pn̄g chē choè-hé, koh sī choè-tīn phah-piàⁿ ê hó-pêng-iú.

佮瑞銘兄mā捌冤過。隔轉年,中山醫辦研討會,會後食飯坐做伙,koh是做陣拍拚ê好朋友。

2006 nî, Sūi-bêng hiaⁿ tī Tâi-oân le̍k-sú ha̍k-hoē ê gián-thó-hōe hoat-piáu chi̍t phiⁿ koan-hē Tâi-gú-bûn ūn-tōng ê lūn-bûn, hit-chūn ê lí-sū-tiúⁿ sī Kok-su-koán Tiuⁿ Iām-hiàn koán-tiúⁿ, chhiáⁿ goá chòe Sūi-bêng hiaⁿ lūn-bûn ê phêng-lūn-jîn. Phêng-lūn kî-si̍t m̄ sī tiōng-tiám, in-ūi Sūi-bêng hiaⁿ ê lūn-bûn, hō͘ lán ū ki-hoē kā choè Tâi-oân le̍k-sú gián-kiù ê pêng-iú kóng Tâi-gú-bûn ūn-tōng ê tiōng-iàu-sèng, mā hō͘ in khoàⁿ-tio̍h lán ê phah-piàⁿ.

2006年,瑞銘兄tī台灣歷史學會ê研討會發表一篇關係台語文運動ê論文,彼陣ê理事長是國史館張炎憲館長,請我做瑞銘兄論文ê評論人。評論其實m̄是重點,因為瑞銘兄ê論文,予咱有機會kā做台灣歷史研究ê朋友講台語文運動ê重要性,mā予in看著咱ê拍拚。

2009 nî, thàu-kè Tēng-pang hiaⁿ khan-soàⁿ, Sūi-bêng hiaⁿ chiap Tâi-bûn-koán "Pe̍h-oē-jī sò͘-ūi tián-chông phok-bu̍t-koán" kè-e̍k, goá hia̍p-chō͘ chhú-lí bāng-chām ê pō͘-hūn, chi̍t tang ê phah-piàⁿ, koh choè-tīn oân-sêng chi̍t hāng kang-khè.

2009年,透過定邦兄牽線,瑞銘兄接台文館「白話字數位典藏博物館」計畫,我協助處理網站ê部份,一冬ê拍拚,koh做陣完成一項工課。

2010 nî, goá kah Hoa-liân ê iân-hūn pìⁿ po̍h--khì, chi̍t ê lâng cháu-lâi Tâi-tiong chia̍h thâu-lō͘, ba̍k-chiu khoeh-khoeh ê sî, khoàⁿ--tio̍h ê iû-goân sī Hoa-liân ê toā-soaⁿ kah Thài-pêng-iûⁿ ê hái-éng, nn̄g tang āu, kui-ke-kháu-á mā lóng kè--lâi, seng-oa̍h siōng koh khai-sí lio̍h-á ū chi̍t-koá pho-tōng, m̄-koh, mā in-ūi lâi se-pō͘, kah Tâi-gú-bûn pêng-iú ū khah choē ê hō͘-tōng, iû-kî kah Sūi-bêng hiaⁿ lóng tī Tâi-tiong, só͘-í koh-khah ū óng-lâi, pau-koat tī Tiong-heng tāi-ha̍k i chí-tō ê ha̍k-seng ê lūn-bûn kháu-chhì, tī Chēng-gî ê Tâi-gú jīn-chèng chhì-bū, tī Tiong-san-i, Tiòng-kàu toā ê hoē-gī. Lī-khui Tâi-tiong kâng-khoán ē sio-chú, pau-koat Chiong-hoà ê Tâi-gú bûn-ha̍k-chióng phêng-sím (Sūi-bêng hiaⁿ kóng i ùi tē it kài khai-sí kàu taⁿ tē 12 kài lóng ū chham-ú--tio̍h) , koh pau-koat tī Lâm-pō͘ ê Tâi-lô-hoē, Tâi-bûn-pit-hoē ê gián-thó-hoē, iâⁿ-tūi, hoē-gī.

2010年,我佮花蓮ê緣份變薄去,一个人走來台中食頭路,目睭瞌瞌ê時,看--著ê猶原是花蓮ê大山佮太平洋ê海湧,兩冬後,規家口仔mālóng過--來,生活上koh開始略仔有一寡波動,m̄-koh,mā因為來西部,佮台語文朋友有khah濟ê互動,尤其佮瑞銘兄lóng tī台中,所以koh-khah有往來,包括tī中興大學伊指導ê學生ê論文口試、tī靜宜ê台語認證試務、tī中山醫、中教大ê會議。離開台中仝款會相拄,包括彰化ê台語文學獎評審(瑞銘兄講伊ùi第一屆開始到taⁿ第12屆lóng有參與著),koh包括tī南部ê台羅會、台文筆會ê研討會、營隊、會議。

Kū-nî 11 ge̍h, chiap-tio̍h Sūi-bêng hiaⁿ ê tiān-oē, mn̄g goá kám ē-sái kā i tàu siōng Chēng-gî thui-kóng kàu-io̍k-pan ê Tâi-gú-khò?

舊年11月,接著瑞銘兄ê電話,問我敢會使kā伊鬥上靜宜推廣教育班ê台語課?

Goá chiàu tiān-oē tiong iok-sok ê sî-kan 11 ge̍h 21 khì-kàu Chēng-gî, khiā tī bīn-chêng ê Sūi-bêng hiaⁿ bô siáⁿ goân-khì, kah chìn-chêng ta̍k pái khoàⁿ-tio̍h i lóng moá-bīn chhiò-iông sió-khoá bô-kâng. I kán-tan kóng-tio̍h choè-kūn sin-thé bô sù-sī, kám-mō͘ chin-kú lóng boē hó, ū tih choè ho̍k-kiān, tih tán kiám-cha kiat-kó, koh kóng sim-lāi ū bô hó ê ū-kám. Hit kang khoè siōng liáu, i koh chài goá tńg-lâi chhī-khu, in-ūi gín-á tha̍k Lú-tiong kah It-tiong, só͘-í in mā poaⁿ lâi chhī-khu.

我照電話中約束ê時間11月21去到靜宜,徛tī面前ê瑞銘兄無啥元氣,佮進前逐擺看著伊lóng滿面笑容小可無仝。伊簡單講著最近身體無四序,感冒真久lóng袂好,有tih做復健,tih等檢查結果,koh講心內有無好ê預感。彼工課上了,伊koh載我轉來市區,因為囡仔讀女中佮一中,所以in mā搬來市區。

12 ge̍h chhoe 4, gún koh tī Sin-káng Hōng-thian-kiong, Sin-káng-má kiàn-chiò 100 chiu-nî bó-gú-si phêng-sím ê tiûⁿ-ha̍p sio-tú, Sūi-bêng hiaⁿ ê phêng-sím keng-giām chin hong-hù, tī i ê ín-chhoā, phêng-sím ê kè-têng chin sūn-lī. Hit kang kám-kak i ke khah ū goân-khì--ah, tiong-tàu chia̍h piān-tong ê sî, i kóng-khí hit-chūn phok-sū lūn-bûn choè ê gián-kiù, kóng kah chiâⁿ chhù-bī, koh kóng i ka-kī si̍t-chāi mā chin sek-ha̍p khì kà le̍k-sú.

12月初4,阮koh tī新港奉天宮,新港媽建醮100週年母語詩評審ê場合相拄,瑞銘兄ê評審經驗真豐富,tī伊ê引𤆬,評審ê過程真順利。彼工感覺伊加khah有元氣ah,中晝食便當ê時,伊講起彼陣博士論文做ê研究,講甲誠趣味,koh講伊家己實在mā真適合去教歷史。

Bô-gî-gō͘, 12 ge̍h 28 thiaⁿ-tio̍h i toà īⁿ ê siau-sit, gún hē (Tiong-kàu-tāi Tâi-gú-hē) kúi ê lāu-su sio-chio beh khì khoàⁿ--i, goá pún-chiâⁿ mā beh-khì, m̄-koh goá ka-kī sin-thé ū chi̍t-koá chōng-hóng, tè bô-tio̍h tīn. 12 ge̍h 31 àm-sî, chiah kah Tâi-pak lo̍h--lâi ê Sò͘-hoâ kah Tek-khiam choè-tīn kè--khì, hit-chūn Sūi-bêng hiaⁿ í-keng tī ka-hō͘ pīⁿ-pâng, ì-sek chheng-chhó, m̄-koh kha-chhiú léng-léng, goá tiām-tiām-á tī piⁿ--á khoàⁿ--i, bô kóng-oē, sim-lāi hi-bî, mā lio̍h-á ū choē-ok-kám, in-ūi ka-hō͘ pīⁿ-pâng hān-chè thàm-pīⁿ ê sî-kan kah lâng-sò͘, Gān-lêng-chí chhoā gún ji̍p--lâi, tì-sú nn̄g ê gín-á ài tī goā-kháu sio-tán, chhiúⁿ-cháu i kah gín-á tàu-tīn ê sî-kan.

無疑悟,12月28聽著伊蹛院ê消息,阮系(中教大台語系)幾个老師相招beh去看伊,我本成mābeh去,m̄-koh我家己身體有一寡狀況,綴無著陣。12月31暗時,才佮台北落來ê素華佮德謙做陣過去,彼陣瑞銘兄已經tī加護病房,意識清楚,m̄-koh跤手冷冷,我恬恬仔tī邊--á看伊,無講話,心內稀微,mā略仔有罪惡感,因為加護病房限制探病ê時間佮人數,彥玲姊𤆬阮入--來,致使兩个囡仔愛tī外口相等,搶走伊佮囡仔鬥陣ê時間。

Goá khì tô͘-su-koán chioh "Gêng-sī sí-bông" chit pún chu, liân-ká ê sî chēng-chēng-á tha̍k, siūⁿ beh siau-tháu sim-lāi ê ak-chak.

我去圖書館借《凝視死亡》這本書,連假ê時靜靜仔讀,想beh消敨心內ê齷齪。

Liân-ká kè-liáu, thiaⁿ-tio̍h Sūi-bêng hiaⁿ lī-khui lán ê siau-sit.

連假過了,聽著瑞銘兄離開咱ê消息。

Chit-má koh siūⁿ-khí hit-chūn tī Chhit-chhiⁿ-thâm i kā goá kiò ê chêng-kéng, ná-chhiūⁿ sī tih bîn-bāng, ba̍k-chiu khoeh--khí-lâi, iu-goân khoàⁿ-ē-tio̍h i ê chhiò-iông. Khoaⁿ-khoaⁿ-á kiâⁿ, goá ê hó-pêng-iú.

這馬koh想起彼陣tī七星潭伊kā我叫ê情景,若像是tih眠夢,目睭瞌起來,猶原看會著伊ê笑容。寬寬仔行,我ê好朋友。